•Mustache Miracles•

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve dishes dreaming.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pieces playing.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten Jacks a-jumping.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies dangling.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking.

On the seventh day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me
Seven fires a-starting.

On the sixth day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me
Six sirens a-laying.

On the fifth day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me
Five girls in the ring.

On the fourth day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me
Four loud bras.

On the third day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me
Three freak accidents.

On the second day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me
Two top(less) designers.

A Maidenform Christmas!

On the first day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me
A pink elephant with a half-dressed lady.

Want a to marry a jerk? Take Pep!

Sanka Saturday!

This is the start of a musical!

Beware the walking teapot!

Maidenform Monday!

Sanka Saturday!

Add a little Man-Magic to your holiday season!

Here it is again, Maidenform Monday!

"No super-power needed when you know these AMAZING SECRETS!"

WARNING: This is not a treat.

Maidenform Monday!

Listen Up!

•Maidenform Monday•

Sanka Saturday!

Real eyelashes. Real human eyelashes.

That wacky Mr. Leggs!

I wouldn't want to lunch with those other guys.

Wha?

This guy is a lot older than you. Wear what he wears.

That's all.

Every mother and daughter should be the exact same size.

Skip the masquerade. You're coming to my PRUNE PARTY!

I'm starting my Christmas preparations. Get ready for the best gift ever.

The fastest? What John Cameron Swayze says? Or the baby?

I keep my babies in cellophane, so they'll... um... last longer.

•Brain Tonic: New and Old•